Are You Loved and Don’t Know?
There are many ways to say, “I love you.” It’s possible to be well-loved by many and not know it. That happens when we have only one love language and we require other people to speak it. There is another way…
In a past relationship, we had a custom that started spontaneously one day. When we made a mistake and realized something we said or did landed badly we’d say to each other, “Oops, Love You,” and we’d put in the correction. It was a kind of cool dance that allowed us to explore who we were together while we thought we were learning each other’s love languages. The habit created a safe environment for a long time. We thought we understood that we really did have each other’s best interests at heart and that forgiveness and trust quickly given would make for a smooth and rewarding relationship.
Years later she told me that she started hearing my “Love You” as a pat thing to say to get me out of a mess. I never noticed that the rules had changed until she explained that detail. They hadn’t changed for me; I still meant it and kept making changes as I understood them until she told me to get lost.
Alas…
What’s the moral of the story?
Keep noticing what’s going on around you. Recognize acts of kindness and courtesy. Smile a lot, notice what’s going on with people. Compliment them on things that are important to them. Be courageous enough to say something for them only. You’ll be amazed at what you find out when you start speaking another’s love language.
And be sure to notice the change in dialects. It happens. Act appropriately.
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